Book Review: How to have a baby: mother-gathered guidance on birth and new babies, by Natalie Meddings

ISSN 2516-5852 (Online)

Complete list of book reviews on the AIMS website

To read or download this Journal in a magazine format on ISSUU, please click here

AIMS Journal, 2018, Vol 30, No 3

Reviewed for AIMS by Maddie McMahon

2017, Eynham Press, £16.99

Paperback: 389 pages

ISBN: 978-1527207363

Find this book on Amazon

Photo of the cover of How to Have a Baby

Tucked up under a blanket on my sofa reading How to Have a Baby, by Natalie Meddings, the phrase that kept playing on a loop in my mind was ‘fairy godmother’. Because this beautifully written and designed book is a blessing, not only on the baby but on the mother. Natalie arrives, I imagine, on a new mother’s doorstep with magic wand in hand; ancient homespun wisdom on her lips. She is wisewoman and witch; keeper of the secrets and curator of the old knowledge: motherlore.

The theme of blessings returns at intervals throughout the book. Mothers tell their stories of words of blessing, hope and faith from families and friends. Blessings come in the form of top tips for birth and parenting. Gifts are given in the form of food, expressions of love and social cameraderie. This book doesn’t profess to be an expert telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. Natalie is all your mothers, your sisters, your aunties and your friends arriving bearing the gifts of their experience and wisdom. Nothing this book shares with us is useless; every page holds a nugget that could make birth or parenting easier or more beautiful.

Reading the section on labour I felt I could hear Natalie’s warm, kind voice, holding my hand as she passed on the deep, intuitive knowledge that can only come from years spent accompanying parents through labour and birth. The phrases and analogies she uses to explain how birth works and how to ease the passage are ones I often find myself using as a doula, so I know from long experience that there is a deep truth and effectiveness in her words.

‘How to Have a Baby’ is much more than the formulaic baby manual books of mass appeal. It offers so much more than the usual fare of judgmental advice from nannies or conflicting opinion depending on which book you flick through. Although it is brimming over with practical suggestions and concise explanations of the physical and emotional progress of pregnancy and birth, the overwhelming feeling of this little tome is one of comfort and the tone is non-directive. The size, page layout, fonts and beautiful full colour photos all create a sense of calm, of peaceful contemplation and a connection with the miraculous process of growing, birthing and feeding a baby.

Like the repeated waves of labour, Natalie gently describes and repeats an elemental message: that we must feel safe to give birth and that therefore parents, particularly the birthing person, must be treated gently, with the utmost respect and kindness. With precision she paints a picture of the environment conducive to birth, paying particular attention to the birth companions. Because it is our lovers and handmaidens who create the safe space that allows,

“A mother [to] unwrap her body and produce her baby like a gift - just like that.”

Doulas really are a combination of your best friend, your mum and your favourite auntie - without any of the possible attendant baggage. Natalie’s writing makes this book a true ‘doula in your pocket’, bursting with homespun wisdom, simple recipes and reassuring words of comfort. Yet underpinning all this is a no-nonsense factual accuracy, with references to research and evidence-based guidelines that can aid responsible, grown up informed decision-making.

I truly hope ‘How to Have a Baby’ reaches a mainstream audience and becomes a classic. It deserves it. Yes, I’m quoted in the the book and yes, I count Natalie amongst my friends but I can honestly say that this review would be the same whether I knew her or not. I know I will want to lend this book to all my clients but I suspect I won’t want to part with it. Looks like I’ll have to buy a few more copies. I urge you to do the same.


The AIMS Journal spearheads discussions about change and development in the maternity services..

AIMS Journal articles on the website go back to 1960, offering an important historical record of maternity issues over the past 60 years. Please check the date of the article because the situation that it discusses may have changed since it was published. We are also very aware that the language used in many articles may not be the language that AIMS would use today.

To contact the editors, please email: journal@aims.org.uk

We make the AIMS Journal freely available so that as many people as possible can benefit from the articles. If you found this article interesting please consider supporting us by becoming an AIMS member or making a donation. We are a small charity that accepts no commercial sponsorship, in order to preserve our reputation for providing impartial, evidence-based information.

JOIN AIMS

MAKE A DONATION

Buy AIMS a Coffee with Ko-Fi

AIMS supports all maternity service users to navigate the system as it exists, and campaigns for a system which truly meets the needs of all.

Latest Content

Journal

« »

Pregnancy and hearing: Did you know…

AIMS Journal, 2024, Vol 36, No 4 Did you know that one in three pregnant women develop tinnitus compared with one in ten who are not pregnant? Tinnitus is the sensation o…

Read more

Editorial: Hello and welcome. How a…

AIMS Journal, 2024, Vol 36, No 4 By Alex Smith Welcome to the December 2024 edition of the AIMS journal. The theme for this quarter considers the experience of care for d…

Read more

Welcome to the Deaf Community – a l…

AIMS Journal, 2024, Vol 36, No 4 By a hearing mother of a deaf baby Sat in the hospital ward, I snapped a cute picture on my phone of my tiny little newborn wearing a hea…

Read more

Events

« »

AIMS Workshop: The Foundation Stone…

Join us for an interactive online AIMS workshop: " The Foundation Stones for Supporting the Physiological Process in Pregnancy and Birth ". Tickets available here: https:…

Read more

MuM-PreDiCT Dissemination event

MuM-PreDiCT is a UK-wide research programme funded by the Medical Research Council. The project focuses on understanding how multiple long-term conditions affect women, b…

Read more

AIMS Workshop: Focusing on Inductio…

Join us for an interactive online AIMS workshop, " Focusing on Induction of Labour ". Tickets available here: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/aims/1472572 Nadia Higso…

Read more

Latest Campaigns

« »

AIMS Letter to Wes Streeting

AIMS has written to Wes Streeting MP, welcoming him to the role of Secretary of State for Health and Social Care. We acknowledge his awareness that maternity services are…

Read more

Involving Service User Voices in Ma…

This is an edited version of an invited talk given by Jo Dagustun, AIMS Campaigns Team, to the International Labour and Birth Research Conference UK, 24 - 26 April 2023.…

Read more

Birth Trauma Inquiry Open Letter in…

We write this letter in response to the recently published APPG Report on Birth Trauma which can be found here The report was extremely moving and we honour the brave con…

Read more