Notes to the Milkman

AIMS Journal, 2007, Vol 19 No 2

Less challenging than writing a clear birth plan?

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Milkman. please could I have a loaf but not bread today."

"Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."

"Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."

"My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me."

"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

"My back door is open. Please put milk in fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."

"When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk.

"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."

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